It’s been a while since I posted here. I told you I had been to a writer’s conference and sailed on the Schooner Mary Day and stayed in Camden, Maine at Bed and Breakfasts. These are the things in my book. Sydney is a new widow who hopes to sort out her identity as a single person and rediscover her soul, and she’s not even sure what that means.
Odd, But True
Oddly, the same thing became my mission as I sailed on the ocean blue aboard the Mary Day. When there is absolutely nothing to do, and no one expects anything of us things come into focus. I focused on my writing and my writing life while we cruised. Both are random, and so they are confusing me. I was hoping something magical would happen as I dreamily watched the islands or looked out over the sea that would direct me.
At night we saw planets, not just stars. Someone had an app on their phone that identified the planets. We saw Mars, Venus, Saturn, and Jupiter. I don’t remember ever seeing Jupiter or Saturn, and that was very exciting to me. At night I would go up on deck and just look out over the ocean and look at the stars and planets as the salt air cleared my mind and the rhythmic waves lapped on the side of the schooner in time with an occasional ringing of a buoy bell, calming my spirit.
Calmed and clear-headed is much different than confused and I relished the feeling even though nothing came into focus. During the day I journaled and read some of the books I bought at the writer’s conference, and I made wrote steps I would take when I got home to improve my writing life.
Crisis after Crisis
Crisis after crisis happened. We came straight home because my husband’s son had a court hearing over something we didn’t think was his fault. My stepson from my previous marriage committed suicide, and his funeral was in a few days. We drove straight home, and my husband developed sciatic nerve problems, and I became sick. He got through the court date, and I got through the funeral, and life was different and sad.
Sydney has the same thing happen to her. She was hoping to relax and find some answers and direction away from her inner brokenness. Things get confusing and distracting as she is pulled in too many directions.
I felt like I was back at square 1 when I returned from our vacation and we recovered. (technically my husband is still in too much pain to do much) I blew up at a friend for no good reason other than I think I just needed to blow up from all the stress. I felt defeated, and none of the steps to improvement I had written had any interest for me. I wrestled with whether or not I should even be a writer and considered giving up. (I would never really do that because writing is what makes me come alive.)
A Little Help From A Friend
I texted a writing friend of mine, and we talked a little. He’s a great friend because he knows when to talk and when not to speak and just let me sort things out or text in this case. He nudges me but never pushes me even if I beg him to push me.
After some hours, my thoughts sorted themselves out, and I could see the direction I needed to go with my book and my writing life. I found renewed interest in the notes I made on the schooner. I felt inspiration rising.
The most exciting thing though is finding out by writing about my struggle and Sydney’s struggle at the same time is that her story is real life. I see myself in her battle even though it is very different. I think you will find yourself in her struggle too.