One day as I was thinking about how I am not getting anywhere with my weight loss desire or my writing, I asked myself if I am lazy or undisciplined? Then it occurred to me that I am not sure what the difference is between them, They seem very much the same, but different. I could have looked the words up in the dictionary, but that would be the coward’s way. I always do things the hard way. I started meditating on the meaning of the two words as I understand them and asked others what they thought.

Am I Lazy

In meditating on the concepts, I remembered my stepmother often told me I was lazy as I sat in a chair on a summer day. I didn’t think so of course. It wasn’t that I wouldn’t do anything, it was that there was nothing I wanted to do. Having something I wanted to do, seemed to be my driving force back then especially on summer break from school. But, today I want to lose weight and write inspiring blogs, and still, I am not doing what it takes. Am I lazy? That doesn’t seem to be the problem. Once as an adult, my stepmother told me she had never seen anyone accomplish as much as I do in a single day. Lazy doesn’t seem to fit.

Am I Undisciplined

So, I must be undisciplined. I looked that one up because I wanted to know the true meaning, not just my understanding of the word. I use the dictionary that is closest, and it is not a full dictionary and does not have the word “undisciplined” in it. I want to give up on the idea of getting the true meaning because I am too lazy to get up and look for a full-fledged dictionary. I think I will open a new window and ask my computer. Now I am a little angry because I don’t find an easy answer to this question—what is the meaning of the word “undisciplined.”  Finally, I found it, and the definition is: not exhibiting self-control or good behavior. This is why I don’t just look words up without meditating on them. That definition is not helpful. Related words are headstrong, defiant, insubordinate, non-compliant, untrained. Now we are getting somewhere. I’m all of that. I think the word “untrained” hits closest to how I see my undisciplined life. It’s most likely why smart people who want to lose weight or get in shape hire a personal trainer.

Time Marches On

When I think back to the days, my stepmother thought I accomplished a lot I can remember that I had a lot to do and a certain amount of time to achieve it, so I busily set out to check off my to-do list. I was usually exhausted by the end of the day and slept Sunday afternoons away. I accomplished a lot including getting up early to take a brisk 45-minute walk and have a daily quiet time with God. I didn’t feel disciplined though. I did a lot, but it was random how or in what order I finished anything.

And At A Slower Pace

I’m not 20 something anymore, and I can’t keep up the pace I did back then. I cannot do all the things I use to do because I am not as fast at anything as I use to be. I have to be more disciplined to accomplish the few things that need to be done. I can’t act randomly anymore and hope to get my projects done, which is partly because I will forget what I wanted to do, I have to be deliberate in my intentions.

Losing weight and getting into better shape is not a matter of vanity anymore, they are survival modes now. I don’t have to worry will I fit into that dress and look hot as much as I have to worry about if that little pain in my chest is something I need to be concerned about. My reasons have changed.

Changes

Life changes and we do too. Our bodies change, our minds are not what they use to be, but life is not a contest. We are not given life to compete with others. We don’t have to accomplish more or achieve more than anyone else just because western culture has made it a goal. We are here to commune with God, help others and enjoy life. When we stop competing, and I think as we get older we understand what is necessary for some does not have to be essential to us and we end competing and start enjoying. So, what does this not competing have to do with the difference between being lazy and being undisciplined?

I Think I’ve Got It

As we age, we know what we want out of life. We can’t do what we use to do. Our minds force us to be more organized and disciplined about what we want to accomplish. I don’t think I’m lazy in that it is not so much that I don’t want to do some things as much as I don’t see the importance of something. Being more disciplined means doing things with a purpose in mind and writing down the steps to achieve it. For instance, I don’t have to fit a 45-minute walk into my tight schedule anymore; I’m retired, I make my own plan. The purpose is to live a healthier life. I have all but 45 minutes a day to do my writing and be inspired to write (which comes during my quiet time with God) There is no rush. And nothing has to be better than what anyone else does. It only has to be what God and I have worked out together as my purpose for writing.

We’re not young, and that’s not bad!