I found out something today that was quite a shock. All summer, I have been dealing with some issues that have me stifled. I had to admit I needed help with these issues, and I prayed about them, and I worried about them, and I let them drive me crazy. I needed a solution or at least hope. The issues were sucking the life right out of me. The two came together while I was on my treadmill. How many problems are worked out on treadmills, I wonder?

The struggle has been with my inner life. I claim to be a Christian, but it seems I don’t act like a Christian should act in many situations. And where do we go to find out how a Christian should act?  I guess the unchristian person would call that being a hypocrite, but I call it being human. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t always know what to do. In the last few days I have been calling out to God a lot—I don’t know what to do!!

My quiet times have been not so inspiring, and I don’t know why. I tried changing them up a little thinking that would inspire me, but it didn’t. I love the summer because I can go out by the lake and feel like I am closer to God in nature. That was not really helpful this summer since the issue is in my back yard and ever before me when I am outside.

Today I had a moment of enlightenment, and I realized I am focusing on the problem and not on Jesus. Jesus is the answer no matter what the question is!

I don’t know what to do!! Jesus!

I am so tired of this issue, how can I get past it? Jesus.

She is so condescending. Jesus.

Mark Batterson wrote a book. “All in All.” He says that Jesus is Lord of all or He is not Lord at all.  I have learned to make Jesus Lord of quite a lot, but not all and especially when I think the answer depends on me or my efforts. Breathe. Jesus.

The issue is two people who have parked their motor home on our property and have been there for five months, and we can’t get them to leave. The unfortunate thing is they are family. Adults….the worst kind! Dependent adults that won’t get jobs or do anything that moves them forward.

So, I’m on my treadmill and reading a book about how to touch Jesus, like the woman in the Bible with the issue of blood.

What did it take for her to solve her hopelessness? It took faith, determination, and action. She had tried to get help from doctors, but medical science had not progressed enough to help her. She was considered unclean by her society and was not expected to be in crowds of people for that reason. She had to feel alienated, alone, desperate. Her hands were tied as far as ending her hopelessness. I feel exactly that way—alienated, alone, hopeless to change anything. I relate to her even though my problem is different. Feeling like my hands are tied is probably the worst of all feelings—like there is nothing I am allowed to do about it. I am blocked, unfriended, and taunted.

My focus has been on the problem and its many facets and not on the answer. I have allowed hopelessness and helplessness to be my constant companions. I have let Goliath yell taunting jabs at me, and I have only gotten angry. Sorry to change Bible stories on you. When problems become larger than life they seem like giants that taunt us. Surely the woman with the issue of blood felt like it was a giant that could not be defeated.

David took down Goliath, and before he did he told Goliath, “I come in the name of the Lord!” The woman came to the Lord and David came in the Name of the Lord. I must too.

 In the book I was reading while on the treadmill, it said to not leave our bed in the morning without acknowledging our love for Jesus and telling Him so. Then he suggested singing a song like “Jesus Name Above All Names,” or “Keep Your Eyes Upon Jesus,” or a song of faith you like. Then spend time with Jesus in prayer, but not asking for anything or even praising Him. Spend time touching Him. Imagine what it would be like to be face to face with the one who died to spend eternity with you. Just “be” in his presence and feel his love. Say his name, how does it make you feel? Say it again….

Jesus…

Jesus….

I love you….

I need you …

Jesus….

Lord….

Tell Jesus you love Him and want to be near Him in prayer and Bible study.

Breathe…

Jesus….